IT’S HARD TO HIT THE TARGET IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS...Understanding Perception
By Lisa Broesch
As a business image consultant, I can’t stress enough the importance of making a positive first impression. We’ve all met people we just didn’t ‘connect’ with. Sometimes it’s hard to identify why, but nonetheless without making a positive first impression, the opportunity to form a meaningful personal or professional relationship is likely lost. Which brings me to this month’s essential element in the ‘Connect...Like You Mean It!’ series... Perception.
Whether it’s personal perception (how others view you) or business perception (how others view your business or the business you work for), we often form an impression of others in a matter of seconds - typically 6 seconds or less. So it’s no surprise that I am often asked questions such as "How can I quickly make a positive impact on others?" or "Is it ok to have a sense of humor if I am in a management position?" The truth is, it all depends on what your target is. What is your vision of a positive first impression? In other words, how do you want to be perceived? And that’s where it’s time to do a little soul searching. Because to be truly self-confident, a key component in forming a positive first impression, you must have a very clear image of how you want to be perceived.
Now, this may sound a little daunting, but with a few quick tips you can start to really form a clear image of who you are and how you want to be seen by others. So let’s get started!
Step 1 find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. Close your eyes and start to really imagine the ‘you’ that you have always dreamed of being. Really, picture the hair, the clothes, the walk, the look on your face. Picture yourself going through your day.
Step 2 Now, add in other people and as you do, notice how you appear in the interaction. Are you serious and scholarly? Courteous, respected, and helpful? Intelligent and outgoing with a sense of humor? Really notice the details. Notice also how others look when they are interacting with you...do they look like they appreciate being around you? Remember, ultimately this is how you want them to react.
Step 3 Next, focus on how you feel as you are experiencing this interaction. Many people find that they feel very relaxed, filled with hope or a renewed level of self-esteem. Some say that they finally felt ‘like themselves’.
Step 4 Once you’ve had a chance to let this settle, open your eyes and make a list of words that describe how you would like to be perceived. Funny, intelligent, well respected, warm, focused, etc.
Step 5 Understand that this is now your target. If you have found that you want to be seen as intelligent and well respected, then keep that in mind when you talk with others. Make sure that your answers are thought out and avoid being overly sarcastic or flippant. If you want to be seen as confident and friendly, be sure to make eye contact right away and give a nice warm smile whenever you greet someone, even if you’ve met them before. The same principles apply to your business. Once you have an idea of how you want it to be perceived, be sure that everyone and everything in the environment reflects your vision.
Step 6 Lastly, consider the environment that you’re in. Obviously you want to be sure that the image you have in mind is appropriate for your environment. Typically, I have found that most people assume they should err on the side of being overly reserved in business. But the good news is many employers and clients prefer to work with people who have (an appropriate) sense of humor, warmth and friendliness.
The important thing is to find what feels right and to be aware of the message you are sending. That way, whenever you meet someone you are able to Connect...Like You Mean It!™
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